The bride price- ilobolo

By: Noxolo Nhlangothi

“In black communities fathers mostly believe in educating boy children further rather than girls.
 Grade 12 is usually seen as enough education for a girl child as opposed to boys…”

Firstly if we had to face facts we would be compelled to admit that black South Africans do not have money or stable financial plans even for their own future and their families. Young people on their side are left out to accumulate funds for themselves to study as most even work on the other side to pay for their own fees our parents also struggle if not at all they completely fail. Since education is the key to success if one is without it they completely fail in life.

How many of our brothers and uncles are working and getting underpaid because all that they had has been paid to their in-laws? How many out of those black brothers are sitting at home with their wives whom they paid ilobolo for and are not working?

Looking at how ilobolo came about one can just see that fathers never saw their girl children as smart enough to learn, work and help out in the families while on the other hand a father who has a boy child would also have their boy “buy” a girl from another family. In black communities fathers mostly believe in educating boy children further rather than girls. Grade 12 is usually seen as enough education for a girl child as opposed to boys who fathers would even sell their cows to send to schools.

Ilobolo is a culture most black families practice; young people grow up and follow through with it also even though they do not clearly understand. Some even get aggressive when they are asked about their feelings on this issue just to show how uncomfortable they are in discussing their cultural systems if the one who brings up the topic is bringing a different view. Young and old women on the other hand agree that it should be practiced further without even looking at the fact that they are the ones being sold.

Most young ladies end up as single mothers all because guys usually make them pregnant then run off since most families have no cows to “buy” the expecting bride from her family as this is what would be expected of him. Young women have defined love by how much the opposite sex has as this is what families require on the processes of their send off to some other ladies household to cook, clean and please the husband.

No aims to look down on culture is intended here but if the black people were to be honest and accept that indeed this is a set back and that it should be changed to help improve the financial status of many black families.

Girls are also human and have same brains and intellectual capacities as boys; they are not objects to be traded. Only the right education will help wash out this ideological way of life.